I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
