thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
