So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
