she was so not down for the gang bang
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
