i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dignity is for republicans.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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