that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just cropdusted the office
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
