; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
