Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
