i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
