He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
