I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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