i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I need water and some morals
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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