Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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