We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
