that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
