it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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