ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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