Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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