I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
