sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
