Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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