sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
