your thong is hanging out like whoa
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
