Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
