Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I am mentally ready for anal.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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