Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
