So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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