I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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