I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
