When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
