im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
