In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
a search helicopter?!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
