i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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