No awkward lesbian experiences without me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
