Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
