just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
