Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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