well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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