so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
