OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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