I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
