True but thats because hes a fetus.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
