I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
