Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up

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(530): View more from California

my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

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(636): View more from Missouri

Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?

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(650): View more from California

Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.

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(789): View more from

Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.

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(716): View more from New York

IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.

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