eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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