do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
