I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
