And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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