And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
