We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
